It has been a while since I last updated this blog. As the picture may speak for itself, I have graduated proudly last summer. With a job secured in Oxford, I have then decided to stay in England and move back to Oxford, where I once called my home away from home.
Being here at this very moment feels like I have gone back in time, familiar streets, familiar shops. I thought moving back to Oxford would make me feel like I am home again but it did not. I have then realised, this was my home three years ago, not anymore, but not..
.. yet.
I have once called here home away from home cause it was the first city I have settled down in, made new friends and went to bed excited for my awaited adventure the very next day. Today, I do not feel the same as I used to before. Honestly, the first couple of weeks were exciting - first job (no doubt, exciting!); supportive and absolutely lovely colleagues at work; first pay cheque etc.
I was told that I was brave for taking such a huge step in life. I did not understand where they were coming from initially. Then it struck me one day, when I finally understood. Having had to start all over again, it feels like being a fresher in uni all over again, except there isn't any Malaysian society or sports clubs to fall back to.
Walking into a restaurant and requesting a table for one; Struggling to finish a loaf of bread before the the use by date; Having had to decide on one choice of food when I wanted other choices as well. These episodes used to bother me so much that it does not anymore.
'It is your first couple of weeks there!' says papa. With that, I believe that things will get better over time. On this very day, it is definitely much easier than the day before.
Right now, I feel like the tip of a pencil, mapping out my journey to an uncertain end point - hoping for the best. Believe it or not, I do quite like it. Just because I know that there are so many possibilities and opportunities that I may or may not have discovered yet, out there for me. It is an exciting yet a lonely journey. Nevertheless, I am blessed every single day, being given such opportunity in life.
For the past couple of years, I used to have trouble deciding where home is - now I know. Malaysia will always be my home.
Lots of Love,
zhi wei x
